Pwners and N00bs of the Empire
by DarkFilly
Summary: When Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader somehow accidently switch bodies with two 14 year olds girls hilarious chaos is to ensure. Will Palpatine survive n00bs on a virtual horse site? And will storm troopers be replaced by an army of Sporks? Full summery-


Full Summery: When Emperor Palpatine and Lord Vader somehow accidentally switch bodies with two 14 year old girls, chaos ensures. Will Lord Palpatine be able to survive the stupidity of n00bs on a virtual horse site, and hunt down the one who annoyed him the most? Will Lord Vader be able to escape the body of a spork and fan fiction loving girl with blue fingernails while trying to discover what a Narnia is? And while the Emperor and Vader are stuck in the world of teenagers, what will become of the Empire when it is run by 2 bizarre friends., will Stromtroopers be replaced by sporks?

Authors Note: Just some quick notes first, I am Julie and my friend is Haley, both in this story and in Real Life, Haley has a younger brother named Luke which is rather need to know later on in the story, I mainly wrote this story as amusement for Haley, myself, and my other friends, but I'd be delighted if anyone besides that enjoys it.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters/ideas you recognize.

--

Emperor Palpatine smiled evilly as the blue force lightening flew from his finger tips engulfing the trembling rebel before him in agony. He was soaking up the sound of the man's screams, almost purring at the delightful sensation the rebel's pain brought to him.

The Emperor let up the lightening for a brief moment, "You see now young one, the utter mistake you have made in deciding to join the pitiful rebellion. Where are your friends now?"

The writhing rebel was no doubt too weak to reply, his only response to glare pathetically at the man, no thing, perching on the throne above him.

The Sith Lord raised his hands to finish off the useless pilot laying before him, when suddenly, his world plunged into darkness.

--

Palpatine's eyes sprung open, you can imagine Darth Sideous's surprise when what he saw, was not a rebel, but in fact a computer monitor, and on said computer monitor, a small box filled with different colored text.

_What is the meaning of this_, the man hissed through the force. His eyes strayed to a few lines of blue text that had suddenly appeared accompanied by a popping sound.

LuvHorsesForevuh: Hey can I plz by ur horse Cathrine the Gret?

The Emperor's yellow eyes narrowed, what was a plz? Or a horse for that matter? His eyes trailed down to the panel before him. _Ah this must be the device that is used to enter information_, he mused to himself. He carefully entered his message in the empty space and tapped the enter key with more force than needed.

DarkBauer: No you can not impudent FOOL! I suggest you leave my presence at once before you meet the same fate as the rebel who was laying at my feet moments ago.

Sideous smirked to himself, a smirk which was quickly replaced with a scowl as a popping noise announced the arrival of more of the annoying blue words.

LuvHorsesForevuh: that was rlly meen!!11 im gonna report u!

The Emperor pounded away on the keyboard, _Report me to who rebel?, _finishing off his display of rage by nearly slamming the enter key out of it's socket.

His furious words were met by a very annoying message in bold blue text.

**Player LuvHorsesForevuh does not receive your chats. Please do not take this personally as some players do not like to chat.**

The most feared man in the galaxy was beyond rage at this point. His snake like yellow eyes darted to around the box in which the blue text had come from until he had found what he was looking for, he now had the name of the planet from which the person who dared insult him lived.

_Horse Isle._

--

Player DarkBauer, also known as Julie was happily discussing 'inappropriate' subjects as The Administrator would no doubt call them, in her buddy chat on the virtual horse site known as Horse Isle.

Or at least she was, until her vision abruptly went black.

The 14 year old girl was slightly beyond startled. There appeared to be LIGTHENING coming out of her fingers. Julie yanked her hands back, attempting to get away from the very dangerous looking blue static, which seemed to work, since the electricity was no longer sizzling in front of her.

The immediate danger being dealt with the brown haired girl began to notice that she was no longer in front of a computer. In fact, she appeared to be standing on the top of some stone steps, for laying below her was a barely breathing man.

"Who are you?" she asked the shaking heap laying on the marble floor.

"You….kn-know….who I am Emp-Emperor," the man rasped.

Julie tilted her head to one side, "Emperor? And no, I don't believe I do,"

The girl gracefully descended down the steps and strode over to the rebel. "I honestly don't know who you are, or where I am for that matter, or how I got here. And I know you are quite capable of helping me solve my first question, so please do,"

Unfortunately for Julie, it was at this moment the rebel took his last breath, but in all fairness, it was surprising the man had not died before this.

The young girl blinked "I have -the- worst luck," she mumbled to herself before skulking towards the large double doors. She'd just have to find her answers elsewhere.

--

Meanwhile Lord Vader was striding through the halls of _The Destroyer _being briefed by one of his high ranking officers, Admiral Piett ,on the upcoming attack that would be launched against one of the rebel's bases in less than 3 hours time.

The Dark Lord frowned, there was obvious flaws in the plan his Admiral had devised, "Admiral-"

Unfortunately he was never given the chance to point them out as, (A/N Yes you guessed it) he was plunged into darkness.

The first word the Sith Lord saw as his vision appeared was _Narnia. _

_What is a Narnia? And where am I? This is no doubt the work of the rebels! They shall __**suffer**__ for this!_

Darth Vader read a few more of the words appearing in front of him through what appeared to be a piece of outdated technology.

_Edmund? The White Witch? Lucy? Fanfiction?_

He had never heard of any of these terms before…..

The Sith reached out a hand to study the piece of technology, it was at this point that he noticed the hand that had stretched out. _His_ hand. No this was not _his _hand. And yet, it was the hand that he controlled. It was small, and not gloved nor robotic as his hand was, and what's more, the nails were painted _sparkly blue_ of all things!

Lord Vader was about to inspect the rest of his body when a voice jerked him out of his thoughts.

"Luuuuuuuuuke! Hallllllley! Come to dinner!'

_Luke? His son was nearby? Perhaps he had something to do with this?_

The Dark Lord quickly rose from the chair he was not even aware he had been sitting in and stormed out the door into a large room where a middle aged man, womon, and a young boy were seated.

"Where is Luke?" Vader growled.

……_Why was his voice highpitched? _

"I'm sitting right in front of your face idiot," the boy spouted off.

"Do not play _games _with me _child_! Where is my SON!?"

A clatter echoed through the dining room as the woman dropped her fork.

"Your WHAT Haley?"

The Sith furiously stalked over to the woman, his hands wrapping around her throat attempting to shove the insolent human above the wall.

Only to discover, that he did not appear to have the strength to lift her.

"HALEY SIT DOWN THIS INSTANT I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR!" the man bellowed rising up from his chair.

_Who is this Haley? Vader seethed silently._

He released the woman seeing for some reason he seemed unable of strangling her.

The young boy who had insulted him before now looked wide eyed and nervous "Haley….are..you okay?" he asked hesitantly.

Vader's response was to glare at the boy with a look of pure hatred.

--

Haley, a 14 year old girl, was happily reading fan fiction of her favorite books and movies. Narnia.

She had just gotten to the best part in her opinion. Edmund was being tortured by The White Witch.

All of a sudden, the words were replaced with black.

Haley, yawned, opening her eyes, she must have fallen asleep, it had after all been late.

"My Lord….are you well?" asked a wary voice.

Haley jumped back as a man dressed in black suddenly appeared at her bedside.

_What on EARTH was a strange man doing standing next to her bed!? And why did he just call her Lord! And what was that very annoying rasping sound?_

"Who…are…you?" Haley squeaked, well, at least it would have sounded like a squeak coming from her body, coming from Lord Vader's body it sounded more like a wheeze.

"My Lord?" Piett asked puzzled, his fears were now confirmed, there was most definitely something wrong with his Master.

"Quit calling me that and answer my question,"

"Admiral Piett Master,"

"Pit?" Haley snickered.

--

**Well there it is. The first chapter anyways, I'll continue if anyone would like me to. Reviews would be lovely!**

**FAQ-**

**Q-Does Horse Isle really exist?**

**A-Yes, and I actually do play there as does my friend.**

**Q-Is LuvHorsesForevuh a real person?**

**A-Not that I know and I apologize if they are, I just came up with the name and thought it suited.**


End file.
